Thursday, June 24, 2010

This is Retarded!


While studying for our test the next morning (and had worked a long day) I had to take a photo op break for some good old fashion funny pics. Here's one to share with ya. I thought it was funny!

I was just sitting here thinking about how I should be studying instead of sitting around watching cheesy chick flicks and then in dawned on me... I think it was time to add more to my list of pregnancy fears and incorporate my studying into it. Here I am writing this silly list, but in all reality it kinda helps me study cuz I remember all of the things I write down for reasons and it typically has something to do with what I am learning this week. So lets jump right in and add to the list...

#85- Did you know that there are four types of pelvises? This I did not know. And here is another tidbit, two are more favorable than another... in all honesty, I have never sat down and wondered, "what shape of pelvis do I have and would it be favorable to have a vaginal delivery?" I suppose this might be something some women may have thought about... but that's probably why these women have babies and I do not. I think I might actually take some pride in the fact that I do not know what type of pelvis I have. With my luck I would be stuck with the android type of pelvis and have a hell of time pushing the gigantic watermelon through. So I am content in my not knowing. Congrats to those of you who have a gynecoid or anthropoid shaped pelvis. May you birth canal be wonderful.

#84- So the nurse/doctor/student/what have you has to feel for the babies sutures while the baby is still in you!!!! They want to feel how the baby is laying in the womb. This particularly freaked me out. I really don't want some strangers whole freaking arm up my who-ha up to their elbow trying to feel around up there. Last thing I need is for someone to lose a watch up there!

#83- Let's just say bloody show. Ewwwww, gross! I know I am a female and "bloodiness" is something I should just have to deal with month to month... and don't let me confuse you, I enjoy blood and gore, BUT SOME PLACES IT'S JUST NOT COOL. This would be one of them. I don't want to see, feel, smell, experience a stringy mucousy, gross, discharge. I have an image in my mind of what this would look like (which I am sure is nothing close to how it really is) and it freaks me right the hell out. Man the way I picture it in my mind it might as well have eyes and claws and come out and say howdy that's how bad I picture it in my mind.

#82-I am just throwing this out there. If I ever do have a baby I am having a damn epidural! But here's the problem with the epidural, what if they get it in the wrong spot? Once again knowing my luck I would sneeze or something right when they are putting the needle into my back and they will puncture a nerve and then I will never be able to walk again. Ok, ok, I know I went a little overboard here, but you catch my drift, right? They do a test dose of Lidocaine in the epidural site before hooking up the epidural and if they missed their spot you will immediately have a high heart rate, headache, and feel that you can't breath. I would be convinced I was going to die (especially after now knowing all the horrible things that can go wrong with pregnancy). This does not sound like fun or like anything I ever want to experience.

#81- Let's end this list for today with one horrifying and cruel word. Episiotomy. Or even worse, to tear and "rip" down there. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, OUCHIE!!!!!!

So that will do for the list today. I am sure I will have PLENTY more tomorrow since I will be in labor and delivery for my last OB clinical day. Let's tell you what else is going on, I had what I like to call the day o' hell on Tuesday. I had two back to back test for OB and Med/Surg. Man, if that doesn't stress one out I don't know what does. It's a lot of pressure and I think everyone in the class was feeling it. I am starting to think that the school does it on purpose. They probably have a camera in the waiting hall recording us all freaking out before and after the test then laugh at how much we over react and watch it at the Christmas party!

But I did do well on my test. I got a 83% on my med/surg and a 85% on my OB. The test were hard, and with the OB test at one point when I submitted it I was convinced that I would get a 60. When I saw that I passed I started to laugh because I was so shocked! Even funnier was hearing Jared sitting next to me in the test say out loud "this is retarted!" Jared, I couldn't agree with you more!

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