So it has been a few days since I last blogged, honestly due to the fact that nothing funny had really happened. I played hookie from school yesterday (shhh, don't tell) and slept in instead. I suppose I picked a bad day to ditch because in med/surg they went over the ever great, fun, and thrilling acid/base crap. If you don't understand what I am talking about don't worry, I don't really either. But though I missed an important day at school I keep telling myself it was worth it to sleep in!
Since I missed yesterday I have spent the last two days (which I would've had to do anyways) doing online lectures and reading. I got seriously sick of hearing about the sodium/potassium pump so I decided to put away the med/surg and pull out the ever so frightening OB stuff...
I was sitting here learning about all of the horrors of pregnancy (I mean really, I don't understand how anyone can actually survive to full term without something completely horrible happening from everything I am learning). I got to the section about the incompetent cervix. As a woman, we all hate this naming. It is insulting. And the instructor on the online lecture especially hated it. I was just following along with the lecture when she stated, "you can expect me to refer to erectile dysfunction as a incompetent penis from this day forward." I looked up and was wondering if I heard her right, so I went back and heard it again. I loved it!!!!! I was laughing so incredibly hard. I totally did not expect that while sitting here listening to all of the horrors of pregnancy! I love women like that! They are my hero's. So sorry to any men out there who could possibly be reading this, I will now and forever refer to any erectile dysfunction as an incompetent penis.
So thanks to the beginning of my blog one could guess where I am going with my #96 reason of why pregnancy scares the hell out of me. Actually I can give you #96 to #91
#96- Ectopic pregnancy. Seriously. This scares the hell out of me! I have had patients come in with this. It is where the implantation of the egg attaches outside of the uterus. So the egg will become deformed and you could be growing teeth, hair, eyes, a freaking horn... god only knows what inside of you. Once you realize that you are having an ectopic pregnancy you have to do chemo drugs and have surgery to clean all of the infected crap out of your body...
#95- Abruptio placenta- anything with the word abruptio (especially when combined with placenta) does not sound like a good thing and you can count me out!
#94- Placenta Previa- where if you experience this one you are pretty much kissing your ass good bye... once again NO THANK YOU!
#93- then you've got the good old uterine rupture. You've got the abd pain, the bleeding, fundus issues, hypovolemic shock, and some serious anxiety to go along with it...
#92- Coagulation problems- I really really really really don't want to be bleeding out. So not on my list of things to do before I die!
#91- Premature rupture of membranes- once again there's many words in that one diagnoses that soooooo does not sound good.
So I am really trying to figure out how so many people have babies and half of the mothers and majority of the babies don't die. If the point of OB was to scare me even more than I already was to have babies I can say mission accomplished!
You have to not think about all the things that 'could' go wrong with having a baby, and just enjoy the process. Really, I can see how it sounds horrifying- especially with all the stuff you guys are learning, but it's pretty amazing that a innocent little child can grow inside a woman's body. And if we all lived worrying about what 'could' happen we probably would all be hermits and never go out anywhere. What a sad world it would be. :)
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