It is time to try to update this silly list that I have going on.... the more I think about it the more I realize that I am not going to get to 100 by the end of the semester unless I dedicate some serious blogging to the list, which honestly I don't have the time or energy for. So let's try this, help me make my list. If you can think of reasons please post them on my comment page on here, on facebook, or email me! Together we will defeat this silly goal I made! Plus it can be fun to get other people's point of view of what scares them about parenthood (might be really helpful with those who already have kids who can warn me of what's to come!)
#66- did you know that you can't have sex for 6 weeks. Though I might be able to understand how this might be a good thing to some couples (cuz let's face it, most fights in marriages are about sex) here you are (as the woman) sitting around exhausted and feeling sad, bored, depressed, what have you. The best thing I can think of for that is some intimate time with your partner. Instead these poor couples have the added stress of a new baby and no sex... damn, poor people!
#65- Not only can you have no sex for at least 6 weeks, but your body will take months and months to heal from having this damn baby. And not only that, but in all reality your body will never be the same again, your nipples will always be dark, you will always have your stretch marks, your hormones will be funky, and let's face it, women get pregnancy brain which never fully returns to normal. Ok, any of you who know me know I can not spare anymore brain cells! I am already running low and I think I would end up like IUGR (hehehe) if I lost anymore brain cells!
#64- don't think that I've given this reason yet, and it's a horrible gross painful thing... one word HEMORRHOIDS... ugh.... do I really need to add anything else on that one? I think not
#63- uterus blood clots. Man, I do not want blood clots anywhere! But in my uterus?!? Ahhhh, that would be horrible... owwwww, I think! I like my uterus just the way it is, blood clot free!
#62- one of the meds they give you to try to control bleeding is carbonprost tromethamine which let me warn you, it gives you HORRIFIC diarrhea. So here you are just pushed this alien through your vagina, feeling like hell, exhausted, hormones all crazy, bleeding, and hey for fun let's just throw some uncontrollable diarrhea on top of it cuz it sounds like fun. Especially since you can't get up and walk to the bathroom due to the damn epidural you receive...
#61- if you decide to breast feed you are then stuck with all the crap of the mastitis.... lamen's terms a horribly painful boob that you can't do anything about except warm compresses. Don't you think that boobs get in the way enough without experiencing mortifying pain throughout it, and let's remember that you have a kid being fed from them that makes the pain even worse I would imagine.
#60- after birthing the kid (who we all know will grow up to be unthankful and resentful as a teenager, and you went through all of this for a pissy little snot) you will have a bruised urethra. For those of you (Liz) who don't know what a urethra is let me enlighten you. It is your pee hole. Do you want your pee hole to be bruised? Cuz it sounds painful as all get out to me!
#59- I would like to end the list for the evening with one of the most horrifying (I really need some new verbs for horrifying) things. You can go crazy. I don't mean baby blues crazy, I mean run down the street naked thinking your frolicking in a groove kind of crazy; or even worse (and I hate to say it) the god told you to kill your baby kind of crazy. And this happens! Which it's not normal... but to a degree it is. And you can claim insanity by way of pushing a watermelon threw your vagina... and the worst part is that you don't even know you've gone crazy cuz you're crazy! You think you're being perfectly normal. Scary!
Well I am going to call that good for now. Let's end on a high note like going nuts; which by the way I am getting closer to being there with every passing day being at school. I have no time to study or do anything (yet I am still sitting here blogging... ya, I know).
Just so you all know I did do well on my last test... surprisingly well. Which I have to ask, does it seem weird to anyone else that I have gotten the EXACT same score on all three of my OB test? I have never had that happen while being in school. At least it's a decent score, not great, but decent.
Thanks still for all of your guys continued support and putting up with my latest doses of crazy. I swear, I know my ears are hanging low lately but I have complete confidence that they will rise back up when I am done with this next year! Have faith in me!
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