My Low Set Ears... Don't Be Hatin'!

It is time to try to update this silly list that I have going on.... the more I think about it the more I realize that I am not going to get to 100 by the end of the semester unless I dedicate some serious blogging to the list, which honestly I don't have the time or energy for. So let's try this, help me make my list. If you can think of reasons please post them on my comment page on here, on facebook, or email me! Together we will defeat this silly goal I made! Plus it can be fun to get other people's point of view of what scares them about parenthood (might be really helpful with those who already have kids who can warn me of what's to come!)

#66- did you know that you can't have sex for 6 weeks. Though I might be able to understand how this might be a good thing to some couples (cuz let's face it, most fights in marriages are about sex) here you are (as the woman) sitting around exhausted and feeling sad, bored, depressed, what have you. The best thing I can think of for that is some intimate time with your partner. Instead these poor couples have the added stress of a new baby and no sex... damn, poor people!

#65- Not only can you have no sex for at least 6 weeks, but your body will take months and months to heal from having this damn baby. And not only that, but in all reality your body will never be the same again, your nipples will always be dark, you will always have your stretch marks, your hormones will be funky, and let's face it, women get pregnancy brain which never fully returns to normal. Ok, any of you who know me know I can not spare anymore brain cells! I am already running low and I think I would end up like IUGR (hehehe) if I lost anymore brain cells!

#64- don't think that I've given this reason yet, and it's a horrible gross painful thing... one word HEMORRHOIDS... ugh.... do I really need to add anything else on that one? I think not

#63- uterus blood clots. Man, I do not want blood clots anywhere! But in my uterus?!? Ahhhh, that would be horrible... owwwww, I think! I like my uterus just the way it is, blood clot free!

#62- one of the meds they give you to try to control bleeding is carbonprost tromethamine which let me warn you, it gives you HORRIFIC diarrhea. So here you are just pushed this alien through your vagina, feeling like hell, exhausted, hormones all crazy, bleeding, and hey for fun let's just throw some uncontrollable diarrhea on top of it cuz it sounds like fun. Especially since you can't get up and walk to the bathroom due to the damn epidural you receive...

#61- if you decide to breast feed you are then stuck with all the crap of the mastitis.... lamen's terms a horribly painful boob that you can't do anything about except warm compresses. Don't you think that boobs get in the way enough without experiencing mortifying pain throughout it, and let's remember that you have a kid being fed from them that makes the pain even worse I would imagine.

#60- after birthing the kid (who we all know will grow up to be unthankful and resentful as a teenager, and you went through all of this for a pissy little snot) you will have a bruised urethra. For those of you (Liz) who don't know what a urethra is let me enlighten you. It is your pee hole. Do you want your pee hole to be bruised? Cuz it sounds painful as all get out to me!

#59- I would like to end the list for the evening with one of the most horrifying (I really need some new verbs for horrifying) things. You can go crazy. I don't mean baby blues crazy, I mean run down the street naked thinking your frolicking in a groove kind of crazy; or even worse (and I hate to say it) the god told you to kill your baby kind of crazy. And this happens! Which it's not normal... but to a degree it is. And you can claim insanity by way of pushing a watermelon threw your vagina... and the worst part is that you don't even know you've gone crazy cuz you're crazy! You think you're being perfectly normal. Scary!

Well I am going to call that good for now. Let's end on a high note like going nuts; which by the way I am getting closer to being there with every passing day being at school. I have no time to study or do anything (yet I am still sitting here blogging... ya, I know).

Just so you all know I did do well on my last test... surprisingly well. Which I have to ask, does it seem weird to anyone else that I have gotten the EXACT same score on all three of my OB test? I have never had that happen while being in school. At least it's a decent score, not great, but decent.

Thanks still for all of your guys continued support and putting up with my latest doses of crazy. I swear, I know my ears are hanging low lately but I have complete confidence that they will rise back up when I am done with this next year! Have faith in me!

100? What the Hell was I Thinking?

Yet another picture of my and two of my girls. One day I will get a pic of my whole group, but until then I like this pic. We were on our way to our traditional Chik-fil-a during our break at school.

It has been awhile since I have written any blogs... life has been so insane lately. Every time I think things can't get any crazier or busier I am surprised to see that it gets just that much more hectic! But on a good note the semester is absolutely flying by! And I am one month closer to my cruise to Jamaica in November 2011!!! Woo woo! I am going to go to Arizona and play with my sister at the end of this semester, so that is what I am really looking forward to!

My OB clinicals are now over (which surprisingly I am sad but I think it's cuz I don't have Jenny with me anymore, but now I have the equally wonderful Julie), and I am doing my medical/surgical clinicals. I worked last week on the 10th floor which is a medical/transplant floor. Nothing to really speak of happened... it felt like a typical day at work, but I didn't have the stress of having ten patients. I actually got to spend a lot of one on one time with my patient, and then also do some real nursing stuff. The nurse I worked with was a very nice black guy, which seemed quite perfect since I have such love for the brothas! I think jesus was in my corner for that one!

This week I am working on the 11th floor, which is surgical/trauma. So I am hoping it goes as well as last week did.

I am on the home stretch with the semester now. I took my fourth test yesterday and I was so not prepared (I did way too much playing all week long instead of studying) and I walked into the test having a panic attack about how unprepared I was! I knew I was going to fail, which would lead me to failing out of nursing school, and then being stuck being a glorified ass wiper the rest of my life... but surprisingly I did great! I got a 89%!!!!! This was such a shocking and wonderful surprise, I walked out holding my head high (and seriously confused cuz I really don't understand how that happened). But now we are having a test a week (some weeks 2 test) until the end of the semester... so I better not chance not studying again! This is going to be a very rough four weeks, but it will be such an amazing feeling when it's all over that I survived!!!!

Ok, so to add to the list of pregnancy fears... huh, let's think...

#71 (right?)- So I learned that there are four stages of labor and that stage one can last up to 20 hours!!!!! Who in the hell could handle labor for 20 hours... straight mind you. Oh lord all mighty that seems absolutely exhausting!

#70- When the baby is descending down the vagina there's different "presentations" that the baby can be in. There is one in particular that freaks me right the hell out, it's called the footling breech. It's where the baby is turned the wrong way (ass first) and the baby has a foot hanging out your vagina. I just can't personally visualize or handle looking down and seeing a foot hanging out the vagina... plus this is VERY BAD!!!! Scares me!!

#69- With my luck I would be post term; meaning that I would be lucky enough to be pregnant for two weeks longer than I needed to be (so over 42 weeks). Could you imagine how pleasant I would be at the end of pregnancy going only to the average 37-40 weeks, to only add on two weeks of feeling so miserable that you would give your left arm to not be pregnant anymore. Damn, if that ever does happen to me I just am going to warn you now stay clear from me! I'm not going to be pleasant!

#68- one condition- IUGR.... do I need to add anymore? (Ok, I will just for those of you who are not in nursing school and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) Intrauterine growth retardation.... or if you want to be politically correct (which let's face it, I am not) you can say regression instead of retardation, but let's face the facts, it's the same damn thing.

#67- ok, so this one seems particularly painful and horrifying to me. It's called an external version. It is where the baby is breech (turned the wrong way) and the doctor turns the baby while it's in your stomach to face the correct way. This is supposed to be a horrifically painful (duh) thing to have done and it seems absolutely terrifying. It's scary enough to have a little mini human inside of you, but lets have the doctor go and completely turn the baby around while inside of you. I would be so terrified that the baby will grab a hold of a kidney (or perhaps the watch that was lost inside of me that I talked about a few blogs ago) and I will end up birthing my kidney along with my baby. If my baby does bring out a lost watch with him I think I will be forced to name him Rolex due to the circumstances... don't you think?

Well I have had enough of writing fears, and I am going to have to come up with 66 more in four weeks... don't know if I can throw out 66 more, once again I bit off more than I can chew. But damn it I am determined and I will get 100 things that scare the hell out of me in the next four weeks. Then I will be starting psych and I will have a whole new list of interesting crazy things to write about. I hope that psych will be as fun as I have built it up to be in my mind (or maybe that's the voices in my head hard at work).... just kidding.