Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Wow... I Really Do Have Feelings Despite the Fact I Try to Pretend I Don't




Wow... 65 days... wow. I've typed up multiple drafts of what I wanted to say for this blog. One was funny, one was kinda bitchy, and one was just sort of depressing. I didn't know how to incorporate what I was thinking and feeling into this blog. And I'm just realizing that I couldn't possibly make it flow the way I want to because that's kind of how my mind has been working the last two weeks. It seems that it has just been a jumble of craziness that I can't really decipher through. I guess all I really wanted to accomplish by writing something right now was to get my feelings and thoughts out so I could make some sort of sense of them, and just to let word out to those that I don't get to see or talk to very often that I am alive and what is going on in my life.

Luckily I have so many of you who keep encouraging me and giving me inspiration about school. You're right, there's not much left. I'm over the hump and just have the tail end left. I suppose that this is the time of it all that I am meant to work the hardest, and you guys know me. I'm not afraid to work hard towards the goals of my life. I am a determined mofo, and thank god, or else the stress of life now days might just kill me.

Though all I'm doing is talking about my stress with school I've got to tell all of my beloved friends and family that I have reached a point in my life where I am truly happy. I love where my life is headed, love the person that I have become, and love everything going on in my life. Yes, even to a degree I love school. I feel that for the first time in a long time I have found peace in my life and I am seeing results for all of my hard work. I have a lot more goals that I am working towards (even more school... yes, I am officially crazy) and am excited to start a new road to my self exploration. I have experienced so much in the last two years, and I've gotta admit that though it has been a long, rough, emotional road I am realizing that everything happened for a reason and that my life was meant to be where it is at exactly this point. I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't experienced those trials. Guess I can't help be happy and thankful when I have so many amazing people surrounding my life and supporting me at every turn. I am so thankful for those who are always encouraging me, sending the random text/calls telling me how proud you are of me, and supporting me. You honestly have no clue how much your love and friendship means to me!

I am sorry that this blog is not a humorous one like it typically is, but I just wanted to send my love and thanks to you and let you know deeper feelings than just the surface humor I try to produce. I promise, I will incorporate my usual humor, stories, and jokes into the next blog. Much love to all of you! I couldn't do it without you!

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