Maybe Two Glassess of Wine Tonight Would Be Alright...

Today was an interesting day. I realized today that I am not the only one who is worn out, tired, and emotional. Though I am sorry to those of you that had this emotional day, it helped me feel normal. Let me explain to my non-nursing school friends.

We went in for our last test today (before the finals) and you could see that everyone was worn down and is hanging on to their sanity by a thread. I took this test that I was completely unprepared for (and yes friends, I truly mean totally unprepared, not my typical "I studied for 60 hours and am unprepared" kind of crap I usually pull, I truly mean unprepared!). I went in, took my test, and hit the submit button. It always takes awhile once you hit the submit button to get your test score back, but my god this was insanity on how long the computer system made me sit there waiting to see my grade. Now you non-nursing school people can't even begin to understand, but once you hit that submit button you experience a flash of emotions. Panic, because you don't know what number is going to show up, relief, because the test is over, your heart feels like it's about to jump out of your chest, but yet somehow at the exact same time you are too scared to breathe. So this is what I am feeling as I swear to god I am waiting an eternity for my score to pop up. Then finally... there it was. 76%. Now friends, this is failing. Passing is a 78%. But with how unprepared I was for this test I was happy with my 76%. It was a freaking hard ass test, and I am confident that at least one question will par up to bring me to my needed 78%.

I close the computer down and walk out into the hall where I find about 10 of my dear friends talking. They stop when they see me there and ask "so how bad did you fail?" I just stood dumbfounded trying to figure out how all these people knew I failed. They then inform me not one of them had passed the test and they ask what my score was. I tell them (being humiliated because still... I failed) and they proceed to tell me that was one of the highest scores thus far. What?!?!? Pardon me? I think I didn't understand you correctly. My 76% was good? I found out that most people got in the low 70's high 60's. None of us had done this bad since the dreaded horrific respiratory test (I swear a chill just went down my spine uttering those words).

I tell you this information because it plays into the beginning of my story. Somehow in the next twenty minutes I witness all hell break loose between my classmates. Next thing I know there are 7 (at least) women crying and two yelling and the shit officially hit the fan. Once again to my nursing school friends, I am sorry that you had such a shitty day, but on the other hand THANK YOU!!!!! I have for the last month (or year... take your pick) felt like everyday I was slowly losing my mind. I have felt emotional, exhausted, moody, depressed (along with many happy feelings too, but that's not the point here). I felt normal seeing that these other students were right there with me having their meltdown. A test is a test. We will survive it. But this wasn't about the test. This was more about trying to survive and being too tired to continue on with the basic politeness that most human beings possess. This was about meltdown city, and for the first time in awhile, I felt somewhat normal as this is all transpiring. I was able to sit back, and smile because I know the test will par up and I will pass. I know that at no job throughout my career will they ask to see my transcripts and ask what grade I got in a class. All they care about is if I have a license and if I competent to do the work.

Now don't get me wrong my dear readers. I am still competitive, and I still want those A's. But when it really comes down to it DOES IT REALLY MATTER???? NO! Of course not. What matters is are we good nurses who are competent and caring and will do everything in our power to advocate for our patient? That's what's important here. Not the A's. Not the minuscule bull shit that school instills in us in order to stress us out more. Did you learn something? Are you competent? If those answers are yes, then screw the rest and take pride in the fact that you got in on a highly competitive scholarship program, survived nursing school, and have a career and future ahead of you. I am attempting to take my own advice friends, I'm writing this more for myself than for you. I swear.

Now about the blog. I have about 8 days left of being a nursing student and have pondered what to do with the blog "A Day in the Life of a Nursing Student". For a brief moment it seemed outdated once I am done with school. I know there are a few of you who actually follow and appreciate my blog so here's what I have decided to do. Just because I am done with 'nursing school' doesn't mean I am done being schooled as a nurse. There is endless education opportunities for this field of work, and I figured that it could be fun to keep the blog and relate things that happen in my career to lessons learned at school and continue showing you guys my journey in my career. I am fully planning on going back for my bachelor's degree, and once that's done see where the road takes me. Maybe it'll be more schooling, maybe not. Maybe it will be a different area of nursing other than hospital floor nursing. Who knows. The opportunities are endless!

So I will not be shutting down the blog. It's sort of my project now, and I find it fun to look back at the adventures, trials, and triumphs of the last 2 years. I have grown substantially in those two years and I am proud of what I have accomplished and who I have become. I have a new sense of pride in myself that I have never had before and feel as though with accomplishing this endless hell of school I can hold my head high and take pride in who I have become. We've worked our asses off people, all of us who have gone through school, through life, take pride in what you have accomplished and take a minute to look back and appreciate that without those trials you wouldn't be who you are today. God knows we have each gone through our own hurdles that we have to triumph, and I'm taking the Jared point of view on these and despite the fact they were beyond difficult, and even at times I was convinced I was being given something I couldn't handle, I am appreciative for these difficulties because they made me appreciate the good times in life and take some self-pride out of what I have overcome.

I say this with the most delicious glass of wine in my hand and hold it up to you my dear friends. I cheers to the hard work you have done, I cheers to where you are at in your life, I cheers to the trials you've had and the trials you will have, I cheers to who you are and the fact you should be proud of yourself. Cheers to you my friends. Now pass the wine, I need another glass after this day!

Wow... I Really Do Have Feelings Despite the Fact I Try to Pretend I Don't

Wow... 65 days... wow. I've typed up multiple drafts of what I wanted to say for this blog. One was funny, one was kinda bitchy, and one was just sort of depressing. I didn't know how to incorporate what I was thinking and feeling into this blog. And I'm just realizing that I couldn't possibly make it flow the way I want to because that's kind of how my mind has been working the last two weeks. It seems that it has just been a jumble of craziness that I can't really decipher through. I guess all I really wanted to accomplish by writing something right now was to get my feelings and thoughts out so I could make some sort of sense of them, and just to let word out to those that I don't get to see or talk to very often that I am alive and what is going on in my life.

Luckily I have so many of you who keep encouraging me and giving me inspiration about school. You're right, there's not much left. I'm over the hump and just have the tail end left. I suppose that this is the time of it all that I am meant to work the hardest, and you guys know me. I'm not afraid to work hard towards the goals of my life. I am a determined mofo, and thank god, or else the stress of life now days might just kill me.

Though all I'm doing is talking about my stress with school I've got to tell all of my beloved friends and family that I have reached a point in my life where I am truly happy. I love where my life is headed, love the person that I have become, and love everything going on in my life. Yes, even to a degree I love school. I feel that for the first time in a long time I have found peace in my life and I am seeing results for all of my hard work. I have a lot more goals that I am working towards (even more school... yes, I am officially crazy) and am excited to start a new road to my self exploration. I have experienced so much in the last two years, and I've gotta admit that though it has been a long, rough, emotional road I am realizing that everything happened for a reason and that my life was meant to be where it is at exactly this point. I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't experienced those trials. Guess I can't help be happy and thankful when I have so many amazing people surrounding my life and supporting me at every turn. I am so thankful for those who are always encouraging me, sending the random text/calls telling me how proud you are of me, and supporting me. You honestly have no clue how much your love and friendship means to me!

I am sorry that this blog is not a humorous one like it typically is, but I just wanted to send my love and thanks to you and let you know deeper feelings than just the surface humor I try to produce. I promise, I will incorporate my usual humor, stories, and jokes into the next blog. Much love to all of you! I couldn't do it without you!

And the Oscar Goes To... Godzilla Nurse!

The other day someone told me that it had been too long since I have last blogged about the fun of nursing school. And I realized yes, yes, it has been a long time since I blogged. So here it is friends, yet another post. I am not really sure what aspect I want to focus on for this blog, but then I never do. I always just start typing and it takes off into a life of its own.

Lets start with discussing the clinical rotation I just wrapped up (HUGE sigh of relief coming from over here). I switched clinical groups this time around, and though I desperately missed my friends from my other group I did have a blast with my new group. We were sent to LDS hospital where I found myself very excited to go somewhere new and experience new floors... oh, sweet innocent Marie... how I'd like to go back and give that girl a harsh awakening. Grab her by the shoulders and yell to her "No you fool! You won't get the experience that you are hoping for. It's not going to be this magically amazing wonderful eventful thing you have pictured in your head you silly little student." Ok... I am exaggerating this a bit. I did have good experiences. I did. Should I start with the happy good days I had there... or the oh my god did that really happen things? Let's start with the good, shall we?

I did have the opportunity that not any other students this semester were able to have where I did a clinical rotation in the ER. Now keep in mind, the only reason why I was able to go to the ER is because three (or was it four...) other floors refused to take a student and I had no where to go (this falls under one of those shitty experiences by the way). My rotation in ER is almost magical. Now, I was a little afraid about my day when it began with the first thing the charge nurse said to me was "spit out your gum, I'm not kidding." I just politely abilged, and thought to myself, "well shit, so this is how the day is going to go huh?" But she turned out to be super awesome. In the ER they had me starting IV's on everyone, which let me tell you is a bit intimidating when you have the RN, two cops, the Dr., and the paramedics along with the patient all staring at you while putting in the IV, especially seeing that it was only like my third one I had ever done. But lo and behold, I got it in, despite the fact that I was shaking terribly.

In the ER I was able to work with so many different types of cases and do a whole new type of nursing that I have never been exposed to. This was one major highlight of clinical, and one that I am most thankful for. Thank you to those bitch ass floors who refused to take me! I would've had a shit day anyways working with you.

East 8 and West 8 were both good experiences as well, just not as amazing as my ER rotation, but honestly, nothing can ever live up to that.

Now lets shift gears. I did do my first clinical day in wound care. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love (and that's putting it mildly) wounds. The more disgusting and foul it is the happier I am! So I was thrilled to go to wound care. The only problem was the nurse I was working with only had three cases that day. Which means, not a lot for Marie to do. At one point she was charting and I had been up since 4:45 in the morning and it was now about 11:00, and I was sleepy!!!! I asked the nurse I was working with if I could pull up a chair next to her pointing at one. She looks at me as if I'm crazy and says, "of course you can sit in that chair." Which I reply, verbatim, "ok, I just didn't want anyone getting upset because I stole their chair." My sweet little nurse looks at me like I am crazy, and I pull up the chair and sit down happy as hell to be chilling for a moment. Then I swear to god, it was like Godzilla coming in and looking to kill anything in site in China and this pregnant nurse who works in wound care comes trampling in looking for blood. I hear her scream "WHERE IS MY CHAIR?!? WHO TOOK MY CHAIR!!!!!!" At this point I start getting up and apologizing when all she wanted to do was continue on freaking out over a silly chair. It goes something like this: Godzilla nurse, "GET OUT OF MY CHAIR! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TAKING MY CHAIR?!? GET OUT!!!!! GO GET THAT OTHER CHAIR OVER THERE!" Sweet little student nurse Marie "I'm sorry, I did ask first." Godzilla nurse: "I DON'T CARE! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY CHAIR!" Ok, at this point I am just getting angry. Sweet little student nurse Marie isn't so sweet anymore and turns into tired pissed off Marie, which goes something like this: "Is is really necessary to get this worked up over a freaking chair? Really? I did ask first, and I was told it was ok. If you are so upset about it why don't you go get the chair over there to sit in? There is no need to yell at me." Godzilla nurse at this time starts throwing an absolute fit about having students in the clinic and how much she hates us being there. What a joke it is, etc. etc. etc. oh... and etc. Yes friends, this is a true story. I will call it Godzilla needs her f-ing chair before she starts eating your babies for a snack.

I hope I don't get into trouble for this one, but I do have to share. Somewhere at some point (can't give specifics) there was a person who came in to be seen. I was able to go in and observe. Here is what I observed (once again, true story). A very very dirty person who looked like they just crawled out of the sewer, they had self done tattoos that look like she had to have been high or drunk (most likely both) while applying them with about six different guys names all over her body. Then this disgusting brown, which used to be white, wife beater shirt on pulled up where her boobs are hanging out of the top of it but her belly is hanging everywhere else. Black jeans which if I had to guess were about two sizes too small, about thirty plastic bracelets on both arms saying the most odd things, I think there may have even been one supporting the Justin Biber experience, cuts and scratches all over the body, food spilled all over her clothes, two eyebrow piercings, a tongue piercing, along with the chin (I think), and to top it all off Hannah Montana shoes. Please keep in mind this is probably a 50 year old woman. I would love to say why she was there, cuz it makes the story only better, but I would be really pushing it and could get into a lot of trouble for that one. So I won't go that far. But dear god, this woman looked like she had just finished blowing like 10 guys all at one all just for a hit of crack. It wasn't pretty, and still gives me nightmares to this day.

I guess all in all, now that I am done with yet another rotation of clinical I can say that I did learn a lot. Even if majority of the time it was how exactly I don't want to be when I'm a nurse. Oh, and I did learn to appreciate IMC a hell of a lot more as well.

There were a lot of laughs throughout this rotation with thanks to my friends. Jared is always good for a laugh. He is hilarious with his comments said under his breath that you feel lucky to hear. Stef who is so sweet and kind hearted that she lets some bitch of a nurse get to her because she is smarter than the nurse. Oh, and she did point out a CNA who is her "butt smacker". Danielle who is so funny at post conference because she is so excited about everything that she has so much to say, as the rest of us are trying to rush her along so we can get out early. Kristy and Heather for putting up with the rest of us so patiently though we all really know that we are irritating the hell out of them. Cori who keeps all of us on track with what's due and being a bit of a mama bear. Leah, oh sweet Leah, thank you for standing up and getting things to end a little bit quicker. And that laugh, how I adore your laugh! Melissa, you just suck right now cuz you got out of the last clinical and we are all super jealous that we didn't think of that first! Brandi, I loved loved loved our conversation the other day, and gained such a new respect for you. Thank you to you and Jared I have just learned that 5 is a magical number. I think the biggest hats off needs to go to Louise! That woman put up with a lot from us, and the looks she gave me at certain points were beyond priceless! Especially when I told her that I was afraid to go to West 6, not because I knew they were going to be rude to me but because when they were I knew I was going to lose my cool and tell them to f*@k off and then I'd fail clinical. Oh how her eyes bugged out, and she just looked at me with this amazing look of shock that she didn't know how to reply. I have a feeling that was the first time she ever had a student say those exact words to her during clinical.

My dear dear friends. Two weeks left of this semester and only one more left to go. Though I question it often I am starting to see the end and have a good outlook on my future (as far as the fact that school will EVENTUALLY end). I am so thankful to everyone involved in my life, I know that I don't get to see a lot of you often, and I am truly sorry. I promise, when school is over it is on and I will be involved yet once again. There's so many people I want to thank right now individually, but luckily it's not the Oscar's and I don't have to give a speech. And if I did, I think that at this point they would probably be turning on the music about now...

Endless Pain (AKA Nursing School)

WOW, I recently realized how long it has been since I have updated the nursing blog. I really did work on another memories page for the end of last semester, but it wasn't finished and it accidentally got deleted from my saved stuff, and it was just too much to rewrite. I was too busy wanting to run out and enjoy my winter vacation from school too... sorry to screw you guys out of that end of the semester tradition.

Speaking of winter vacation from school, can I just say that this last break was so desperately needed and none of it was wasted at all! I have not had so much fun in a very long time. Cori and I lived each day of that vacation up to it's fullest... to put it simply.

Now we're back to hitting the books and having no life yet again. But it will all pay off in the end, and we realize it. But it's hard not to get a little down when you want to go out and play and have fun and notice the stack of homework looking back at you mocking you. This semester I'm taking Med/Surg 2, Pharm 2, and nursing management (what I like to call the biggest waste of time class on the face of the planet). We are stuck having at least one test a week (some weeks more) and have found that most of us are a little bit flustered with all of the work going on. For example Jared and papa studying for the wrong test (you think papa would've learned after the final fiasco last semester), or people panicking because they suddenly think a B.S. management paper is due this week when it's really not due until March. It's been quite funny to read the message board for our co-hort on facebook! Thank you friends for that entertainment.

Like I said earlier, I have noticed that many of us (ok, most of us) in my co-hort right now are really feeling the pressure and are starting to let it get to us more than ever before. I think what it really comes down to is we are all exhausted to a whole new level we never realized before and are letting the small things get to us. But I guess at this point what we all need to do is adopt Josh's positive outlook on things. We are on a downward slope from here on out with school. We are closer to the finish line than ever before. And it will pay off ten fold in the long run. We signed up for this because we wanted to help people but I guess before we can help those in need we need to help ourselves. We need to push ourselves harder than ever before, and do everything we can to do it with our heads held high. Plus, friends, lets look at some of the funny things that have happened this semester, like Kim. My god that woman is hilarious and is the perfect fit for our class! Oh, and you guys missed my time spent on the IV simulator, but lets just say I felt bad for the poor girl who was in doing her time as Cori and I was... I don't know if cursing offended her, but I am sure I exposed her to new vocabulary that she has never heard before (that stupid program continuously saying I didn't let my prep dry long enough... my god! I don't have all damn day!)

I just wanted to do an update about school and to tell those who I don't have a chance to see often and want to know about how school is going I want you to know that I am surviving (barely some days, but overall I am surviving) and I want those who do go to school with me know how much I appreciate each of them for their understanding of what I am going through. We have already spent a lot of time of the phone reassuring each other that we can do this! We can get through this! Together. These people in my class are some of the best people around, and I am so thankful to have them there with me enduring the endless pain of what is called nursing school!

Look What I Found! Memories From Last Semester, It Wasn't Lost After All

So since I have done a blog at the end of every semester I figure it was once again time to keep up on that tradition. This semester I attempted to have a life while going to school, and I had a lot of fun throughout the semester. I will be kissing my life goodbye for the next 7 months. Things will once again be hectic and chaotic, but on the up side there are only two semesters left, which equals about seven months of pure hell.

So I figured we should go over the memories made for this semester.

1. I am supposed to appreciate each mornings bowel movement. Georgia told me that I am not appreciating the joys in life if I don't enjoy a good bowel movement
2. Bumble attending class and going to test with me. He's developing quite the following.
   
3. Papa and Julia getting locked down in the psych center. Freaking hilarious!!!!
   
4. Did you know that they serve so much alcohol in Nevada because their water is contaminated?
   
5. There are evil chipmunks out there. Really. We were told so.
   
6. If there's a hole they're going to stick something in it
7. I think everyone learned if I say I don't want to talk about it that they shouldn't push the issue
8. That it's really funny to fail a b.s. test by 0.21%... ok, it's really not funny, but when you officially lose your mind things like that are funny
9. Did you know a whopping 4" of snow will get school canceled. Then you're stuck making up a psych test the day before the stupid HESI.
   
10. Ohhhhh gestalt
11. Frotteurism is yet another fun word to say, and it's even funnier to use it in conversation
12. We figured out that Jared is in a class all his own... well... as long as we're not dating him. But ladies, no worries, he does pay for the cab fare home
13. Stefanie will let you put your junk in her trunk
14. The term BCG was born
15. So... can you study for an IQ test?
16. When you're standing downtown in a group of 10 all wearing your blue scrubs drunk people across the street sing the Smurfs song to you
17. Hot rubbing with Cori (this is not what it sounds like)
18. You know you're stressed when someone in your group is studying for the wrong test! And even worse doesn't realize it until 5 minutes prior to the test.
    
19. Holding up signs that say "Shoot me" in front of Russ (the clinical instructor) and when he reads it and looks at me I say to him "I mean it!"
20. Naps in the psych clinical site chart room
21. We all learned that the languo with spina bifida ARE NOT nerves and it will not hurt the child to touch the hairs
22. The way to tell if the spinal cord is in the bubble (meylomeningocele) that is outside the skin is by popping it
23. I learned it is acceptable that my instructor asks us if we believe in ghosts
24. If you have a family member with a mental disorder it will break you financially for life (this is still a load of crap!)
25. I have an above average IQ, just ask Georgia, she'll tell you so
26. It is not a good idea to argue with your instructor about who pays taxes and who doesn't
27. That talking about coitus interruptus is STILL funny
28. Messing with cute little Katie is fun
29. That when teaching kids about hand-washing all they want to do is sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and talk about Hula-hoops
30. Don't take Chantix while doing your psych clinicals... the two are totally not a good combination!
    
31. It always makes you feel good when you finish your psych clinicals and they don't keep you as a patient
32. Butt massages and pudies (pedis while studying= pudy)
33. Jared's countdown is a godsend
34. Cori figured out how to get me to actually show up for class, she buys me coffee and has it sitting there waiting for me for when I show up
35. I figured out that the longer I'm in nursing school the less I feel like I know
36. Psych makes you go psychotic because you are convinced that you know someone, or even worse... yourself, with each illness that you learn about
37. Stefanie is possessive of Jared
38. "Did you know that you don't need a man to have an orgasm?" HAHAHA, a classic!!!!!!

Well look what I found! See, told you my brain was fried at the end of that semester. All I wanted to do was go out and play! And play I did! So I am glad that I found this, even though it's about 2 months late... sorry guys. But at least I kept up with the tradition! Peace out.

Test, Test, Test...

I know, I know, it's been awhile since I have made a blog post. But I have been trying so hard to make time for a social life this semester that I've been too busy playing instead of homework and blogging.

Not a lot is different with school, except I finished my clinicals!!!! This seemed like a very big deal this semester because I really really really did not like my psych clinical. But they are over and I now have to concentrate on a lot of testing coming up. And not just testing, but a very important test, the HESI. It's a comprehensive test that makes sure that I have learned over the last year. So in a matter of 4 weeks I have a peds and psych test, the HESI, and then finals for peds and psych. Guess I better get my butt in gear and start studying instead of waiting until the day or two before the test to study. Oppsie.

I have been asked to keep adding to the "You Know You're a Nursing Student When..." list (thank you Cori) so I will continue on that list for now and see what we come up with.

• You know you're a nursing student when you are at the psych clinical site and you get locked in the corridors and are unable to get out and they talk about calling the fire department to get you out of the corridor. (hahaha, Flint and Julia, I will forever and always laugh about this one!)
• You know you're a nursing student when you are in lecture and your instructor tells you that you should take time ever morning to appreciate your morning bowel movement
• You know you're a nursing student when you are studying for psych and you are relating every mental illness to someone that you know (or even worse, yourself)
• You know you're a nursing student when you are so tired because you were up all night studying that when you are in a chart room, supposedly studying charts on the patients in the center, you take a nap instead.
  
• You know you're a nursing student when your realize that you need an IV drip of coffee just to make it through lecture
• You know you're a nursing student when you finish your most hated psych clinicals and you skip down the hall singing zip-a-dee-do-dah and all your classmates are laughing at you but feel the exact same way!
  
• You know you're a nursing student when you are stuck watching boring ass videos about how to handle a violent situation and you draw a sign that says "SHOOT ME" and hold it up to your group members with your instructor sitting right next to you looking at you just shaking his head, and even worse, you mean it!
  
• You know you're a nursing student when the night after a final is the best night in the world because it means you have at least 16 weeks before you have to stress about another final
• You know you're a nursing student when you're washing your hands in the bathroom and you count to see if the person next to you washes for 15 seconds, and when they don't you get seriously grossed out and want to say something to them
• You know you're a nursing student when you realize that IV starting is coming up and you are working up your friends, family, and boy/girlfriends trying to prepare them for you 'practicing' on them. (I have yet to find a friend or family member that will allow me to except for my wonderful friends at the hospital, because they remember what it was like)
• You know you're a nursing student when you are asked by someone who picks up your book bag and ask you if you're carrying cement in there
  
• You know you're a nursing student if you can talk about the anus and genitals and it's not sexual what-so-ever
• You know you're a nursing student when you know all about your friends body systems, health problems, and have no shame grabbing their body in any way because you have already assessed them and seen them without their clothes on (ok, at least with the female students, I don't think I'm ready to grab Josh, Papa, Darren, or Jarred... sorry guys...)
  
• You know you're a nursing student when you are not allowed to talk about your clinical day because your family and non-nursing school friends are in complete horror and grossed out (and secretly you find it hilarious!)
• You know you're a nursing student when you have a beer ready and waiting for you for when you get off of your horribly long day at clinical, then you get home, drink that beer, and all you can think about is the meds that would interact with that beer and what it can potentially do to your liver, then the whole wonderfulness of the beer is diminished... well, almost
• You know you're a nursing student when you have a medical bag full of supplies and medications "just in case", then someone ask for something and you don't have it you hold your head in shame that you are not prepared (or is this just me?)
• You know you're a nursing student when you are sitting in lecture and other classmates keep asking the most out of this world questions and you have to seriously wonder to yourself if you have been in class with the same people for over a year now, because the questions they ask are way too silly for someone who has been in nursing school for that long! And you have no shame in laughing hysterically out loud at them... ya... um... not like I would do that or anything...
  

Well.... think that will be it for me for now. As far as the first reason on the list today that was by far my most favorite moment in psych clinical! I received a phone call from Papa Flizzle (aka Flint) and he's begging me to get over to the Girls A area so I could help him and Julia, because they were trapped. I laughed so hard when I got there, and couldn't get the door open! It was a priceless moment. I will upload the video if I am able to on here.

There are only 40 days left of the semester and maybe 270ish left for nursing school all together (thank you Jarred for the count down), and I am so happy because the end is getting closer and closer. I will miss some of my classmates so horribly though. I have gotten so used to seeing these people on almost a daily basis, it will be sad to lose that daily interaction.

Once again, as always, I am so thankful for the wonderful friends and family I have surrounding me and encouraging me at every step. Each of you help me in a different way, beyond what you would ever realize. I am forever indebted to you for keeping me going! I love you guys, and thanks for stopping by once again to read my blog. I am glad that so many of you enjoy it!

This was post nap in the chart room (or what I like to call the room where dreams die)

Papa and Julia shared my feelings on the Psych clinical experience... ugh, it was rough

Getting Motivated...

A group of us from school went out drinking last week. It was a much needed break!

It has been awhile since I have done a post about nursing school. So I was sitting here procrastinating doing homework (the norm now days) and filling my time with mindless, pointless things to do and figured it was time for a new blog post.

So a little update on the semester, I am still recovering from last semester and am finding it difficult to motivate myself with school right now. I know this seems to be the general feeling with everyone in my cohort... we keep thinking the get busy studying mindset will kick in, but we are a month into the semester with two test down, and have yet to get the right mindset. What gets me is if the last semester kicked our asses so bad what the hell will last semester be like? Oh holy hell... lets not even think about it, it exhaust me to even think about it!

Time to continue on our fun list. I don't know what my deal is with the list on this blog... but it works. Let's continue:

You know you're a nursing student when your nursing school friends know more about what's going on in your life than your own family because they see you more than anyone else in your life.

You know you're a nursing student when you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of life and try to see where you fit on it and realize that you are missing many aspects of the hierarchy because nursing school is sucking your will to live.

You know you're a nursing student when non nursing people won't watch tv with you anymore because you correct all of the medical mistakes made throughout the whole show. Don't even get me going on the show House!!!!!

You know you're a nursing student when someone you know is sick and you spend a half hour asking them about symptoms and the illness to try to diagnosis them and come up with a NANDA approved nursing diagnosis.

You know you're a nursing student when you are looking at everyone's coloring and if you see someone dusky colored you want to run up and check their O2 saturations to make sure that they are perfusing efficiently.

You know you're a nursing student when you find yourself trying to "actively listen" because it is a healing connection (oh lord...)

You know you're a nursing student when you are in line at the pharmacy and you eavesdrop on what prescriptions the people in front of you are getting so you can figure out what's wrong with them and think about the side effects they will suffer from taking those meds.

You know you're a nursing student when you let your friends practice IV's on you just because.

You know you're a nursing student when you can spot a heart murmur or lung crackles!

You know you're a nursing student when you are just excited to not be doing free slave labor anymore and look forward to the day you get paid to be in the hospital!

Well I think 10 will do it for me today. Though I am dragging ass on getting motivated for this semester it has gone really well. I am done with my pediatrics clinical and have two more psych clinicals left... gag. That one has been really trying and difficult for me. We are working with young kids who are sex offenders. Not exactly what I would want to be doing with my time, but I have honestly learned a lot (nursing school and non nursing school information). I will be THRILLED though when these clinical days are over! Soon!!! WAHOOOOOOOO! 10 months left of school and counting! Love you guys.

Nursing students gone wild!

The Most Wonderful Part of My Day,,,

Here it is 11:30 at night and I have class at 8 am and I am working on an assignment due tomorrow at 8. I was thinking that this could be added to my "you know you're a nursing student when..." list. So let's add more, cuz it sounded like some fun (and in all honesty I am still procrastinating finishing that homework).

• You know you're a nursing student when you're up at 11:30 at night to finish up an assessment that is due in less than eight hours...
  
• You know you're a nursing student when you're excited about working with the most disgusting, sad, rare disease/patient
• You know you're a nursing student when you are on the trax train going to clinical with your nursing group and you have to point out cool things to your group that you noticed while assessing the guy sitting across from you
• You know you're a nursing student when you are hoping that your patient has a high blood sugar so that you can give a insulin shot
• You know you're a nursing student when you count how long the person next to you washes their hands and have to fight everything inside of you not to scream about germs when they don't even wash their hands
• You know you're a nursing student when you carry hand sanitizer everywhere with you and you give yourself a bath in it after clinical
• You know you're a nursing student when you are jealous that your classmates got to work with a more critical patient than you did
• You know you're a nursing student when you find out what's going on with your friends outside of school via facebook...
  
• You know you're a nursing student when your classmates know you better than your own family does
• You know you're a nursing student when you can fart in front of your classmates and they are not bothered by it and are happy that your bowels are moving
• You know you're a nursing student when all you dream about is med conversions and showing up late for a test
• You know you're a nursing student when your friends are practicing their IV start skills and you allow them to poke you and leave "track" marks down your arms because you know you'll get even with them when it's your turn to practice
  
• You know you're a nursing student when you do your laundry and find pens, alcohol swabs, and multiple papers in your pockets (and they were left there because honestly you were too tired to remember that you didn't check the pockets)
• You know you're a nursing student when you are excited to hear a heart murmur or lung crackles!
  
• You know you're a nursing student when every situation you're in you can relate it to school and what you just finished studying
• You know you're a nursing student when you carry around a backpack full of all of your books EVERYWHERE you go just in case you have five minutes to read and study...
• You know you're a nursing student when you are downtown with your clinical group wearing your bright blue scrubs and some drunk guy across the street starts singing the Smurfs tune to you
  

Ok, we'll call it good for now. I sat down today and tried to study for peds. Let me tell you what not to do so my fellow classmates can learn from me. Do not spend 2 hours doing online lectures that get you no where with and typing up notes to follow the pointless yacking only to find out that you already have notes that correlate with the crap you are seeing slides of, and then move to reading the book (and falling asleep a half hour into it for 2 wonderful hours) and read 2 chapters (which equals about 80 some odd pages) only to find out that all of it was pointless and the teacher gives you a study guide that gives you all of the info you need. So yes, pretty much it was a wasted day... except for that nap. It was wonderful!

You Know You're a Nursing Student When...

So here we are beginning yet another semester. Oh holy hell. But this is a good thing, because it puts me on the path of having one more semester under my belt. This semester I am taking Psych and Peds. I begin with my clinicals right away (meaning tomorrow) at Primary Children's Hospital. Though I am horribly nervous, due to not having much exposure with kids and I don't really know what I am doing with them, I am so excited. For years where I wanted to end up working was pediatric oncology (cancer). The instructor said she would do what she could to get me in that unit, so I am thrilled!

So since I abandoned the pregnancy list... god that was rough, I will begin a new list with no particular number in mind. When I have number in mind it is a lot to live up to! So my new list is going to be called "you know you're a nursing student when..." It should be interesting!

Let's begin...
You know you're a nursing student when a rolling backpack is necessary because the weight of the books you have to carry around with you weight more than you do (and you're carrying around your whole house in the bag since you are never home).

You know you're a nursing student when your relaxation time is going to the bathroom.

You know you're a nursing student when you are excited and telling all your friends about how you learned to pull a swollen foreskin back over a penis (this one is for you Cori)

You know you're a nursing student when you are anxious to put in a foley catheter

You know you're a nursing student when think you are experiencing every illness that you are studying

You know you're a nursing student when you look at all of your Facebook post and realize that every status update has something to do with school and you realize that you no longer have a life

You know you're a nursing student when you have nightmares about your instructors

You know you're a nursing student when you go a month or more without talking to anyone in your family and don't even realize it...

You know you're a nursing student when you are kissing someone and all you can do is wonder if this person has herpes of the mouth

You know you're a nursing student when you write EVERYTHING in medical abbreviations! Even text to your non-nursing friends and they have to ask you what the hell you're talking about

You know you're a nursing student when you receive a text in the middle of the night asking you why the elderly become confused when they have a UTI (and you are awake studying the same information)

Ok, I could go on with this for awhile. But we will call this good for now. I look forward to the semester and am sure I will have lots to write about with the two classes I am taking at this time. Love you guys!

Since I have to add a pic with each blog and I have not taken any yet for this semester I will add one from this month of me and my papa flizzle.

Memories....

I never thought it would happen. The end of the semester finally came and I hit my year mark in nursing school! This year has been so full of happy/stressful/hilarious/etc memories. I can honestly say I have laughed more in this last year than I ever have in my whole life, in spite of the stress. Thank you to my dear friends out there who helped me with that.

So I kinda wanted to change things up today and bypass the pregnancy list. I wanted to write about the things I will remember most about this semester.

#1- I should not come at my patients from behind, they don't like that
#2- I should be asking my patients "may I thump you?"
#3- Roll 'em, flow 'em, and blow 'em. This was said in my OB class, and my question to Jennie was 'wasn't this how they got pregnant in the first place?' I got candy for that.
#4- That your parathyroid releases triangular hormones, your thyroid square hormones, and pituitary circular hormones
#5- That IV fluid should NOT be warmed in the microwave
#6- It's fun to bite Jared
#7- I can not handle sitting in class for 5 hours... I seem to lose interest after about 2 hours!
#8- That babies DO have to be fed every 24 hours (thank you Danielle for helping us all learn this one!)
#9- That if you put on Facebook how stressed you always are for your test then you score in the 90's your friends give you shit!
#10- That it's fun to deliver placentas and babies... glad I didn't tear the placenta (unlike other people).
#11- Nursing school totally ruins your sex drive (due to learning yet again about STD's) and even ruins kissing for you. You must ask for proof that the person does not get cold sores or has herpes before kissing them
#12- Claudia's whip
#13- mucus or mucous?
#14- The infamous "blue hue" I know Jennie will never forget me after my mini melt down in class over that one
#15- Going to Chili's after test and having a Jamaican drink is quite therapeutic
#16- Some words are just fun to say; for example: ticdouloureux, mittelschmerz, and spinnbarkeit
#17-When I tied my pants tighter in the middle of the hallway... and they fell down! Just don't do it cuz the patients going by in a wheelchair get an eye full and your lab partner laughs hysterically!
#18- You can relate everything with studying to something sexual and you can remember it a lot better!
#19- The seizure/sex tree that Cori and I made. Freaking hilarious! By the way Cori, it's all about the status epilepticus!
#20- Share your fries with Brandi!
#21- The best thing to do right before going in for a test is to have a laughing fit with your friends! It drastically improves your grade!
#22- I have to have my orange calculator before going in for my test or I am not a happy camper!
#23- Sitting next to Jared during test is hilarious because you hear things like "screw this shit" and you can't help but laugh!
#24- Stefanie and her suckers
#25- IUGR growling in the middle of class
#26- The countdown to the end of the semester on Facebook!!! It kept me going each and every day!
#27- That men are broken because they have a XY and not a XX
#28- Coitus Interruptus...
#29- Taking studying breaks with Cori and Brandi to jump on the trampoline. It helped get the oxygen going to the brain!
#30- Chick-fil-a every Wednesday!
#31- Only my clinical group will get this one, but the catch-all. It was at that moment that Julie knew exactly what she was getting into trying to explain things to me!
#32- I learned that if you ask Julie for something enough times she will finally say yes!
#33- Seeing Cori come in to study group covered in Jamba Juice!!!! Hahaha!!!!




This semester has been hell, and each day I thought that I couldn't get anymore tired (which I was always wrong, I learned you can ALWAYS get more tired), and daily questioned if I could really do this. I am so happy to say that I have! I made it threw some of the most stressful times ever and came out on top. I know that my dear friends never doubted it... but hell I sure did!

I am so thankful to Russ, Julie, and Jennie (3 of the greatest instructors ever... as long as Russ doesn't give me paperwork to do!), my friends at school (who continuously humor me and laugh at my silly/obnoxious jokes), my friends outside of school (who constantly listen to me whine and stress about school and cheer me on), and my family for being patient with me for being non-existent these days! I couldn't do this without all of you and am so appreciative!

My Low Set Ears... Don't Be Hatin'!

It is time to try to update this silly list that I have going on.... the more I think about it the more I realize that I am not going to get to 100 by the end of the semester unless I dedicate some serious blogging to the list, which honestly I don't have the time or energy for. So let's try this, help me make my list. If you can think of reasons please post them on my comment page on here, on facebook, or email me! Together we will defeat this silly goal I made! Plus it can be fun to get other people's point of view of what scares them about parenthood (might be really helpful with those who already have kids who can warn me of what's to come!)

#66- did you know that you can't have sex for 6 weeks. Though I might be able to understand how this might be a good thing to some couples (cuz let's face it, most fights in marriages are about sex) here you are (as the woman) sitting around exhausted and feeling sad, bored, depressed, what have you. The best thing I can think of for that is some intimate time with your partner. Instead these poor couples have the added stress of a new baby and no sex... damn, poor people!

#65- Not only can you have no sex for at least 6 weeks, but your body will take months and months to heal from having this damn baby. And not only that, but in all reality your body will never be the same again, your nipples will always be dark, you will always have your stretch marks, your hormones will be funky, and let's face it, women get pregnancy brain which never fully returns to normal. Ok, any of you who know me know I can not spare anymore brain cells! I am already running low and I think I would end up like IUGR (hehehe) if I lost anymore brain cells!

#64- don't think that I've given this reason yet, and it's a horrible gross painful thing... one word HEMORRHOIDS... ugh.... do I really need to add anything else on that one? I think not

#63- uterus blood clots. Man, I do not want blood clots anywhere! But in my uterus?!? Ahhhh, that would be horrible... owwwww, I think! I like my uterus just the way it is, blood clot free!

#62- one of the meds they give you to try to control bleeding is carbonprost tromethamine which let me warn you, it gives you HORRIFIC diarrhea. So here you are just pushed this alien through your vagina, feeling like hell, exhausted, hormones all crazy, bleeding, and hey for fun let's just throw some uncontrollable diarrhea on top of it cuz it sounds like fun. Especially since you can't get up and walk to the bathroom due to the damn epidural you receive...

#61- if you decide to breast feed you are then stuck with all the crap of the mastitis.... lamen's terms a horribly painful boob that you can't do anything about except warm compresses. Don't you think that boobs get in the way enough without experiencing mortifying pain throughout it, and let's remember that you have a kid being fed from them that makes the pain even worse I would imagine.

#60- after birthing the kid (who we all know will grow up to be unthankful and resentful as a teenager, and you went through all of this for a pissy little snot) you will have a bruised urethra. For those of you (Liz) who don't know what a urethra is let me enlighten you. It is your pee hole. Do you want your pee hole to be bruised? Cuz it sounds painful as all get out to me!

#59- I would like to end the list for the evening with one of the most horrifying (I really need some new verbs for horrifying) things. You can go crazy. I don't mean baby blues crazy, I mean run down the street naked thinking your frolicking in a groove kind of crazy; or even worse (and I hate to say it) the god told you to kill your baby kind of crazy. And this happens! Which it's not normal... but to a degree it is. And you can claim insanity by way of pushing a watermelon threw your vagina... and the worst part is that you don't even know you've gone crazy cuz you're crazy! You think you're being perfectly normal. Scary!

Well I am going to call that good for now. Let's end on a high note like going nuts; which by the way I am getting closer to being there with every passing day being at school. I have no time to study or do anything (yet I am still sitting here blogging... ya, I know).

Just so you all know I did do well on my last test... surprisingly well. Which I have to ask, does it seem weird to anyone else that I have gotten the EXACT same score on all three of my OB test? I have never had that happen while being in school. At least it's a decent score, not great, but decent.

Thanks still for all of your guys continued support and putting up with my latest doses of crazy. I swear, I know my ears are hanging low lately but I have complete confidence that they will rise back up when I am done with this next year! Have faith in me!

100? What the Hell was I Thinking?

Yet another picture of my and two of my girls. One day I will get a pic of my whole group, but until then I like this pic. We were on our way to our traditional Chik-fil-a during our break at school.

It has been awhile since I have written any blogs... life has been so insane lately. Every time I think things can't get any crazier or busier I am surprised to see that it gets just that much more hectic! But on a good note the semester is absolutely flying by! And I am one month closer to my cruise to Jamaica in November 2011!!! Woo woo! I am going to go to Arizona and play with my sister at the end of this semester, so that is what I am really looking forward to!

My OB clinicals are now over (which surprisingly I am sad but I think it's cuz I don't have Jenny with me anymore, but now I have the equally wonderful Julie), and I am doing my medical/surgical clinicals. I worked last week on the 10th floor which is a medical/transplant floor. Nothing to really speak of happened... it felt like a typical day at work, but I didn't have the stress of having ten patients. I actually got to spend a lot of one on one time with my patient, and then also do some real nursing stuff. The nurse I worked with was a very nice black guy, which seemed quite perfect since I have such love for the brothas! I think jesus was in my corner for that one!

This week I am working on the 11th floor, which is surgical/trauma. So I am hoping it goes as well as last week did.

I am on the home stretch with the semester now. I took my fourth test yesterday and I was so not prepared (I did way too much playing all week long instead of studying) and I walked into the test having a panic attack about how unprepared I was! I knew I was going to fail, which would lead me to failing out of nursing school, and then being stuck being a glorified ass wiper the rest of my life... but surprisingly I did great! I got a 89%!!!!! This was such a shocking and wonderful surprise, I walked out holding my head high (and seriously confused cuz I really don't understand how that happened). But now we are having a test a week (some weeks 2 test) until the end of the semester... so I better not chance not studying again! This is going to be a very rough four weeks, but it will be such an amazing feeling when it's all over that I survived!!!!

Ok, so to add to the list of pregnancy fears... huh, let's think...

#71 (right?)- So I learned that there are four stages of labor and that stage one can last up to 20 hours!!!!! Who in the hell could handle labor for 20 hours... straight mind you. Oh lord all mighty that seems absolutely exhausting!

#70- When the baby is descending down the vagina there's different "presentations" that the baby can be in. There is one in particular that freaks me right the hell out, it's called the footling breech. It's where the baby is turned the wrong way (ass first) and the baby has a foot hanging out your vagina. I just can't personally visualize or handle looking down and seeing a foot hanging out the vagina... plus this is VERY BAD!!!! Scares me!!

#69- With my luck I would be post term; meaning that I would be lucky enough to be pregnant for two weeks longer than I needed to be (so over 42 weeks). Could you imagine how pleasant I would be at the end of pregnancy going only to the average 37-40 weeks, to only add on two weeks of feeling so miserable that you would give your left arm to not be pregnant anymore. Damn, if that ever does happen to me I just am going to warn you now stay clear from me! I'm not going to be pleasant!

#68- one condition- IUGR.... do I need to add anymore? (Ok, I will just for those of you who are not in nursing school and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) Intrauterine growth retardation.... or if you want to be politically correct (which let's face it, I am not) you can say regression instead of retardation, but let's face the facts, it's the same damn thing.

#67- ok, so this one seems particularly painful and horrifying to me. It's called an external version. It is where the baby is breech (turned the wrong way) and the doctor turns the baby while it's in your stomach to face the correct way. This is supposed to be a horrifically painful (duh) thing to have done and it seems absolutely terrifying. It's scary enough to have a little mini human inside of you, but lets have the doctor go and completely turn the baby around while inside of you. I would be so terrified that the baby will grab a hold of a kidney (or perhaps the watch that was lost inside of me that I talked about a few blogs ago) and I will end up birthing my kidney along with my baby. If my baby does bring out a lost watch with him I think I will be forced to name him Rolex due to the circumstances... don't you think?

Well I have had enough of writing fears, and I am going to have to come up with 66 more in four weeks... don't know if I can throw out 66 more, once again I bit off more than I can chew. But damn it I am determined and I will get 100 things that scare the hell out of me in the next four weeks. Then I will be starting psych and I will have a whole new list of interesting crazy things to write about. I hope that psych will be as fun as I have built it up to be in my mind (or maybe that's the voices in my head hard at work).... just kidding.

Hollywood's Participation in Deliveries

Finally, I did it. I had my clinical in labor and delivery... and all I can say is wow... please allow me to explain further. Did you realize that these women are pushing eight pound humans through their vagina's???? I am sooooo not kidding. Really, a whole little alien baby, RIGHT THROUGH THEIR VAGINA'S!!!!!

OK, so let me explain my day, and some of what I explain will have numbers next to it to identify that it belongs on the list. So I arrive in labor and delivery and I was started out in a room with a woman who was on her second baby and was having a c-section. I watched and learned as they prepped her for her major abdominal surgery (I will discuss further why this is a major surgery besides the fact they are ripping a human out of your body). So after about an hour and a half of prepping we take her into the OR. The nurse I was working with was wonderful and made sure I had a good place to stand while watching the surgery and explained everything going on. Here's where it gets freaky (#80). So they cut her incision and are cutting into the abdomen to get the baby. They make an incision about eight or so inches long and then have a doctor on each side of the incision with both their hands in the abdomen tearing, pulling, tugging the skin to make the hole wider. The doctors were pulling with all their might! I am telling you, no one should have their hands inside of you pulling back your flesh with all of their might!!!!! Does this seem totally insane to anyone else? (#79) The whole entire time you are wide awake too!!!! WIDE FREAKING AWAKE. Ahhhhhhh, as the doctors are ripping your flesh...

So then one of the doctors stood on a stool and pushed on the woman's abdomen and all the sudden out pops a baby head. Here is a freaking head just sitting outside of this woman's abdomen. WTF?!? (#78) So after the doc got the baby out they had to clean out the abdomen. They just yank the uterus right out of the abdomen and have it sitting on the woman's belly as they clean it. I could not believe I was staring at a uterus outside of a woman's body!!! (#77) Then after they are done they just shove it right back in. I swear to god, it totally reminded me on the game you used to play as a kid Operation! Except the docs in real life are not as gentle as you have to be in the damn game! (#76) Then the docs have to cauterize the bleeding. It smelled like someone was branding a damn cow in the OR. And let this show you how inappropriate I can be at times, all I could think was how cool it would be to brand your initials in the woman's uterus and flesh... Not a normal thought... right?

After watching the c-section I explained to my nurse how much I wanted to see a vaginal delivery. It was not very busy in the department but about an hour later there was another girl who was pushing. So my nurse helped me get into the room to watch. (#75) Jennie is going to kill me that I once again can't remember the name of the device, but if the baby isn't doing great and they want to monitor it a little closer they stick this device up the woman's vagina that looks like a long stick (no pun intended) and they screw it into the babies head and pull out the stick and there's a wire the connects to the monitor that will watch the baby. I'm sorry, did you understand what I just said... they screw the monitor into the babies freaking head!?!

This baby was having a hard time (we found out due to the fact that there was lots of meconium or as the English like to say baby poop in the womb). The babies pulse was dropping and they were encouraging the woman to push harder and faster for her babies health. The woman had about four or five family members yelling and cheering her on. The father was the most vocal and was yelling and crying in excitement for the baby. When the head popped out (which we will go into further in a moment) the dad rips off his shirt and begins to run around the room with no shirt on screaming and crying... needless to say... this was... um... an interesting reaction... granted I have not been through this and don't know the emotions involved, but I can say I have never been so emotional that I ripped my shirt off and ran around the room like a mad man. But I was um... happy... for this father that was so excited.

Okay, back to the baby head sticking out. (#74) It was somewhat disturbing (while being exciting) to see this baby head just sticking out of the vagina. It was something very different that is difficult to understand. But I swear to god it seems like something that came straight out of the movie Species. At one point (with the third delivery I got to watch) the doc asked the girl if she wanted to feel the head (#73) the girl kinda freaked and said no. This I understood, it would freak me right the hell out as well.

So on the last delivery the girl was very young and had the baby all natural (#72- as much as epidurals scare me going all natural scares me even more). This girl did not scream at all!!!! I think she became my new hero because I don't see how you can endure that with out so much of a scream... she's more of a woman at that young age than I will ever be. I would scream, kick, swear, bite, whatever to get that damn thing out of me.

Today was a very surreal experience and though it truly did scare the shit right out of me (not literally, but close enough) it was a truly amazing experience! I learned so much on this rotation and got to see so much more than I ever thought possible. I am so glad I got to learn so much and have such a positive experience.

I will never be a labor and delivery, nursery, or post partum nurse but my hat is off to those who are! It is a very different type of nursing than anything else I think. So thank you to the three women who let me participate on their big events, I will forever be grateful for you allowing me to learn from your pain... at this time I'm just glad it's not me shoving a watermelon through my vagina... maybe one day, then I will be eating all these words that I write. Which in all reality, I don't think that's any different than normal!

This is Retarded!

While studying for our test the next morning (and had worked a long day) I had to take a photo op break for some good old fashion funny pics. Here's one to share with ya. I thought it was funny!

I was just sitting here thinking about how I should be studying instead of sitting around watching cheesy chick flicks and then in dawned on me... I think it was time to add more to my list of pregnancy fears and incorporate my studying into it. Here I am writing this silly list, but in all reality it kinda helps me study cuz I remember all of the things I write down for reasons and it typically has something to do with what I am learning this week. So lets jump right in and add to the list...

#85- Did you know that there are four types of pelvises? This I did not know. And here is another tidbit, two are more favorable than another... in all honesty, I have never sat down and wondered, "what shape of pelvis do I have and would it be favorable to have a vaginal delivery?" I suppose this might be something some women may have thought about... but that's probably why these women have babies and I do not. I think I might actually take some pride in the fact that I do not know what type of pelvis I have. With my luck I would be stuck with the android type of pelvis and have a hell of time pushing the gigantic watermelon through. So I am content in my not knowing. Congrats to those of you who have a gynecoid or anthropoid shaped pelvis. May you birth canal be wonderful.

#84- So the nurse/doctor/student/what have you has to feel for the babies sutures while the baby is still in you!!!! They want to feel how the baby is laying in the womb. This particularly freaked me out. I really don't want some strangers whole freaking arm up my who-ha up to their elbow trying to feel around up there. Last thing I need is for someone to lose a watch up there!

#83- Let's just say bloody show. Ewwwww, gross! I know I am a female and "bloodiness" is something I should just have to deal with month to month... and don't let me confuse you, I enjoy blood and gore, BUT SOME PLACES IT'S JUST NOT COOL. This would be one of them. I don't want to see, feel, smell, experience a stringy mucousy, gross, discharge. I have an image in my mind of what this would look like (which I am sure is nothing close to how it really is) and it freaks me right the hell out. Man the way I picture it in my mind it might as well have eyes and claws and come out and say howdy that's how bad I picture it in my mind.

#82-I am just throwing this out there. If I ever do have a baby I am having a damn epidural! But here's the problem with the epidural, what if they get it in the wrong spot? Once again knowing my luck I would sneeze or something right when they are putting the needle into my back and they will puncture a nerve and then I will never be able to walk again. Ok, ok, I know I went a little overboard here, but you catch my drift, right? They do a test dose of Lidocaine in the epidural site before hooking up the epidural and if they missed their spot you will immediately have a high heart rate, headache, and feel that you can't breath. I would be convinced I was going to die (especially after now knowing all the horrible things that can go wrong with pregnancy). This does not sound like fun or like anything I ever want to experience.

#81- Let's end this list for today with one horrifying and cruel word. Episiotomy. Or even worse, to tear and "rip" down there. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, OUCHIE!!!!!!

So that will do for the list today. I am sure I will have PLENTY more tomorrow since I will be in labor and delivery for my last OB clinical day. Let's tell you what else is going on, I had what I like to call the day o' hell on Tuesday. I had two back to back test for OB and Med/Surg. Man, if that doesn't stress one out I don't know what does. It's a lot of pressure and I think everyone in the class was feeling it. I am starting to think that the school does it on purpose. They probably have a camera in the waiting hall recording us all freaking out before and after the test then laugh at how much we over react and watch it at the Christmas party!

But I did do well on my test. I got a 83% on my med/surg and a 85% on my OB. The test were hard, and with the OB test at one point when I submitted it I was convinced that I would get a 60. When I saw that I passed I started to laugh because I was so shocked! Even funnier was hearing Jared sitting next to me in the test say out loud "this is retarted!" Jared, I couldn't agree with you more!

Some Words Are Just Fun to Say!!!

So I had my clinical yesterday. I thought I was going to be in labor and delivery, but I wasn't. I was in the nursery! I know I am scared to death of babies (especially newborns) and that I am creating a list of 100 things that scare me about pregnancy... but these babies were so stinking cute!!!!! I'm not saying I'm ready to be a mom or anything, but I did love holding these little babies! Granted I was scared beyond anything you could imagine that I would drop the babies, and it took me many hours in the nursery before I even dared to pick on up. But I finally did, and I fed her a bottle and held her and it was simply adorable. Once again, let me clarify, babies scared the living hell out of me, but they are cute when you can give them back when they cry!

So I learned a lot in the nursery. It seems that everyday that I spend with OB my eyes are being opened to more and more things I never could have imagined! I am learning more with this class than I ever believed possible. I got to go down and watch a bunch of antenatal testing, which taught me a lot to. I will never use any of this knowledge I am sure once I am done with my boards, but I still appreciate the experience! It's been worth the stress.... wait, can I take that one back?

So I've gotta come up with my number 88 of pregnancy fears. I think I've got a few for you.

#88- Did you know as a female that you have to get the area between your vagina and your rectum (the perineum) swabbed for groub B strep? This is something that tons of women are just walking around with, have no idea about, nor can do anything about. But it seems like such an embarrassing thing to have your perineum (taint, grundle, chode, whatever you want to call it) swabbed and then be told you were positive for something that could kill your baby. I would just rather not know!

#87- So going right along with the general area of the body we are talking about I think number 87 fits in quite perfectly. I really don't want to be pushing out a 7lb watermelon and worry about shitting the bed! I know it's normal, and it happens, but it is something that would make me feel like a real ass! I honestly take pride in the fact I have not ever shit my pants as an adult... unless you count that one time I had the flu... just kidding, well... ya, I'm kidding.

#86- mittelschmerz. I just really like saying the word mittelschmerz. It just rolls off the tongue. mittelschmerz. Wonderful, almost as much fun as saying spinnbarkeit. Not quite, but almost.

So I was told for sure I am going to be in labor and delivery next Friday and I am really looking forward to it! I asked for a C-section, and Jenny (my wonderful, beautiful, talented, hilariously witty, great instructor) said she will see what she can do. By the way, I am not sucking up... I'm just making sure she knows how much I appreciate her (wink, wink) if she happened to ever stumble upon my blog, especially when grading my final.

So I know I have shocked some of you by saying that I enjoy OB, and I think this didn't surprise anyone more than myself. I am a little sad to see my OB clinicals end next week then the ever torturous and massive time investing Med/Surg clinicals begin. I will be sure to keep you guys updated, I think I am up to 10 readers now (LOL). Love you guys!!!!

Just wanted to share a picture of the video that we were required to watch for ob... this scared me more than anything else about having a baby! Enjoy!!!! LOL.

And here is my reaction to the video! This picture did not capture my horror I endured while watching it!

Dear God are you Serious?

So I had another OB class today and found out yet another horrifying thing about pregnancy. So I want to jump right into it...

#90- did you know that people were having 26lbs babies???? Holy crap! There is no way your genitals could recuperate from that! And that my friends, seriously scares the crap out of me!!!!

#89- I've gotta start throwing more out there than one a week, I am running out of time! So let's think of number 89.... okay, I know.... how about gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension? No freaking thank you!

Now that we got that over and done with I would like to add that though this semester is very tough I know I will survive through it! I want to shoot myself in the head every Wednesday with the 8 hour lecture... but I suppose what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger... right?... right? Well, the booze that I have to have every now and then definitely helps though! Thank god for copper camels and beer!

So I was wrong, I had last Friday off, and this Friday I go to labor and delivery and get to watch babies being born. I am going to get to get to watch vaginal deliveries and c-sections! I am pretty excited! (anyone who knows me knows that this is soooooo not like me!) So I am sure this will equal some really exciting/horrifying stories for my blog! So I am sure all of you (the whole 5 readers I have LOL) will be waiting anxiously to hear what I have to say!

Thanks again to all of you out there supporting me and your continuous encouragement! I love you all dearly! I will be blogging soon, so until then, night night.

Incompetent Cervix

So it has been a few days since I last blogged, honestly due to the fact that nothing funny had really happened. I played hookie from school yesterday (shhh, don't tell) and slept in instead. I suppose I picked a bad day to ditch because in med/surg they went over the ever great, fun, and thrilling acid/base crap. If you don't understand what I am talking about don't worry, I don't really either. But though I missed an important day at school I keep telling myself it was worth it to sleep in!

Since I missed yesterday I have spent the last two days (which I would've had to do anyways) doing online lectures and reading. I got seriously sick of hearing about the sodium/potassium pump so I decided to put away the med/surg and pull out the ever so frightening OB stuff...

I was sitting here learning about all of the horrors of pregnancy (I mean really, I don't understand how anyone can actually survive to full term without something completely horrible happening from everything I am learning). I got to the section about the incompetent cervix. As a woman, we all hate this naming. It is insulting. And the instructor on the online lecture especially hated it. I was just following along with the lecture when she stated, "you can expect me to refer to erectile dysfunction as a incompetent penis from this day forward." I looked up and was wondering if I heard her right, so I went back and heard it again. I loved it!!!!! I was laughing so incredibly hard. I totally did not expect that while sitting here listening to all of the horrors of pregnancy! I love women like that! They are my hero's. So sorry to any men out there who could possibly be reading this, I will now and forever refer to any erectile dysfunction as an incompetent penis.

So thanks to the beginning of my blog one could guess where I am going with my #96 reason of why pregnancy scares the hell out of me. Actually I can give you #96 to #91

#96- Ectopic pregnancy. Seriously. This scares the hell out of me! I have had patients come in with this. It is where the implantation of the egg attaches outside of the uterus. So the egg will become deformed and you could be growing teeth, hair, eyes, a freaking horn... god only knows what inside of you. Once you realize that you are having an ectopic pregnancy you have to do chemo drugs and have surgery to clean all of the infected crap out of your body...

#95- Abruptio placenta- anything with the word abruptio (especially when combined with placenta) does not sound like a good thing and you can count me out!

#94- Placenta Previa- where if you experience this one you are pretty much kissing your ass good bye... once again NO THANK YOU!

#93- then you've got the good old uterine rupture. You've got the abd pain, the bleeding, fundus issues, hypovolemic shock, and some serious anxiety to go along with it...

#92- Coagulation problems- I really really really really don't want to be bleeding out. So not on my list of things to do before I die!

#91- Premature rupture of membranes- once again there's many words in that one diagnoses that soooooo does not sound good.

So I am really trying to figure out how so many people have babies and half of the mothers and majority of the babies don't die. If the point of OB was to scare me even more than I already was to have babies I can say mission accomplished!

This is me learning about all of the horrible things that can happen to you during pregnancy...